Another blog post today. Lucky you.
I realized that I have been a bit vague about my new job and about my old job. Not everyone reading this knows the history or the journey. So I shall give a brief overview.
Before April of this year, I was working for Walmart in the Deli/Bakery Area. For the past three years plus. I first started in Deli where I would fry chicken, make rotisserie chicken and slice meat and cheese. I would wait on customers, serving them food. I would maintain the hot case and follow food safety standards. Then I learned to do the donuts and bread. The donuts come in frozen but we warm them up and glaze and ice them. Bread comes in as frozen dough which we bake and then package.
At first none of this was too bad. But then I began to hate it. Partly because of the monotony, partly because there was no real “purpose” behind doing the work, and partly because the demands and time constraints became more and more intense. I am only one person and can only, physically, do so much. What management was asking of one person was too much. It made me feel like a failure everyday. Even though I knew I was working to the best of my ability I wasn’t hitting the standards and I felt defeated.
Now add to this a schedule of 4am to 1 pm. Which meant I had to be up at 3 am. And because I need at least eight hours of sleep I was going to bed like 6 pm. I have alreay mentioned it takes me hours to fall asleep so I tried to go to bed early so I would actually get eight hours.
Now add to that winter dark and raging depression. Sometimes I would give up on the day as early as 4pm. The dark really gets me. And the cold in winter. So I had little time for a life. I had little inspiration to do any of the things I love to do. Crochet, write, bake, walk/run.
Then I was hired by Arthur Center in April.
Enivornment is so important to mental health. The change in schedule, the atomsphere of the job, the job itself, has made a huge difference.
Now I work with a purpose. I help people who are struggling with mental illness reach their goals. I help people find the path of recovery. I get to use my lived experience to help them.
Now I work 8am to 4pm. And while I haven’t gotten a morning routine yet, I do go to bed later. I still struggle with falling asleep though so it is a bit earlier than I would really like.
I am beginning to find interest in things again. I am beginning to work on my writing, my crochet, my baking, my life.
This blog is part of the journey to a work/life balance. This blog is part of the journey to writing again and sharing my writings with the world.
The best part is I am gaining these coping skills now before the winter comes again. Before the depression comes again. And hopefully with coping skills in place it will not be as rough a time.
That’s the run down of where I am at and who I am working to be.